Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I want to have a family. I want someone to go to sleep with at night and wake up to in the morning. I feel very fortunate that I have amazing friends and the greatest family. They may not be perfect, but they are mine and they are always there for me, through thick and thin. Since my sister gave birth to her son, Tyler, I have been so in love and so devoted to making sure that he is loved. He has so much love coming from all of us in his family, he can definitely afford to share it others. That's how much we love him! I've told my sister quite a few times, that her son is the BEST gift anyone has ever given me. Yes, he's not MINE, he's just my nephew. Every moment that I spend with him is like heaven, at least, what I imagine a heaven would be like.
I look at my sister, and see the life that she has created and YES, I am jealous. I want that! I want a family of my own! I want a little nugget of my own! Only thing is...the thought of having an alien life form developing inside my body is the most terrifying thing I can ever imagine. I mean, they KICK. KICK! From the inside! THEY HAVE FINGERNAILS!!!! (thank you, Diablo Cody) Women POOP on the table as the baby is shooting out of their VAGINA. GROSS!!!!! :) I cannot imagine me getting preggo anytime soon, but it scares me to think that there is the possibility that I could live my whole entire life marriageless, and childless.
Tonight I watched The Blindside with my mother. The sweetest story and I cried all the way through. That woman just opened up her heart, her home, her family and her entire life to a complete stranger. People here barely say thank you when you hold the door open for them. They don't even use their turn signals!!! First, I know it happens a lot, but I am still shocked that a person can treat their child like they are a pair of shoes. Second, I am so amazed that someone could so generous and give a strange child a chance at love, a new life, and a family. Of course it's inspiring. Leigh Anne Tuohy is who I aspire to be. Not EXACTLY her, but someone who is so courageous, loving, strong, brave, and caring. Someone who sees the best in human kind and is not afraid to show it. Watching those characters interact as a family on screen I thought "I want that. I really want that. I want a family of my own, and I want to inspire people." Maybe not on a huge scale like that...That's a tough act to follow. Just a little, like inspiring my own family or friends.
Anywho, the point of this...I follow a lot of mommy bloggers...Not because I want to be a mom, but because they also write about non-mommy stuff, and they're pretty damn cool. Along the way, someone created this cool site called Momversations and all the mommy and daddy bloggers get together and video tape themselves to converse with each other on specific topics. The one I share with you below asks "What would you be doing now had you not become a parent? What would your life be like?" Of course, I cannot reflect on those questions because of the obvious. But it did make me think about my future. What IF I don't get the chance to make a family of my own? What if I don't get to experience what it's like to raise a child of my own? Force them to eat thin mint cookies and watch old episodes of Full House and Saved By The Bell with me? But what if I do get that chance? What WOULD my life be like then?
Life Choices: What Would You Be Doing if You Weren't a Mom?
He's only 3 and 1/2.
I spent the night at my sister and brother in law's place last night, and was very happy to experience the Nugget's first "cognisant" Christmas. He could NOT wait to open up his presents. Getting him to bed was difficult for my sister, but when she warned him that a certain "boogie man" might come over if he didn't fall asleep, he closed his eyes almost right away. After finally opening Santa's presents in the morning, he turned towards the Christmas Tree and said "But we NEED more presents under the Christmas Tree!!" His dad then replied, "Well, do you want to return this presents and get new ones?" What does Tyler say, "Yes Daddy!"
Oh geez. They have created a MONSTER.
As we waited for my parents to arrive at the other grandparents' home, Tyler was so fussy, asking "Can we open presents now????" So impatient that boy, but when you look at his face, it's so hard to say no! Would you be able to?
Monday, December 14, 2009
On to the GOOD news! Our heater is working!!! After multiple calls to our landlord trying to convince him that really, REALLY, our heater wasn't working, he sent someone to fix it. Best feeling ever!!! But really, the best thing to happen after our heater finally working, is getting to sit for Isis again. She is the sweetest Siberian Husky, and I absolutely LOVE her to death. The feeling I get when I spend a lot of time with animals is just so overwhelming. It's indescribable. This weekend, I don't know why, was really especially awesome with her. I think because the more I sit for her the more she trusts me, and I get to know her better. She has the funniest personality. She's not the kind to like guys over girls, or adults to children. She's completely indifferent. She hates a big fuss, but freaks out when she hasn't seen you in a long time. And when she's in my car, she puts her head in between the side of the car and my headrest, just close enough rest her head on my shoulder. So precious!! Plus the way she curls up on my bed at night...Well, it's kind of like this...so effing cute!!!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Dr. comes in and...
"Oh, what's that? No, you don't have an ear infection. You just have fluid build-up in your ears. What's that? You want antibiotics? You want something to help with the build-up? OH! I'm sorry...it's gonna hurt like a bitch but you're just gonna have to wait it out. "
So what about my throat?
"Oh...Your throat. Yeah...you have laryngitis. Oh, you want an antibiotic for that too? I'm sorrrrrryyy. You're just going to have to go home and find a home remedy. Maybe call your grandma and ask her for something she used to take in the old days."
I hurt. A lot.
Friday, December 4, 2009
I sit on the couch with my Sudafed, chewable vitamin C, and copious amounts of tea that clearly permit my bladder to act like it's become Niagara Falls. But my nose is plugged and my cough is pathetic. I want to go out tonight - IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!! I feel like I haven't been to work in ages and I really want to go out and be social. Hearing all these people pass my flat late at night drunk and loud make me so jealous!! I feel eh, OK, ,but I just can't breathe! My nose is so stuffed and runny - soo not fun.
When will it go away???? Please go away!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
This month, SOME SMART PERSON has decided to raise the tuition in California universities 30%. THIRTY PERCENT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? How do they expect us to move forward in life in a way that some of us think is best for us? Yes, some of us will not go to college. They will follow a path that is best for them. But for those of us who believe that a higher education is the way to reach our dreams, how will we do it if the tuition is unrealistically astronomical??
The fight for education has always been present in America. From the poor, women, blacks, and now ANY minority, there has always been someone struggling to learn. We have gone through The Great Depression. We have lived through Women's Suffrage. We have survived Segregation. Now, it really does not matter who or what you are. If you don't have any money, you just can't go to college. Well YES, you can. You just need to take out a billion dollars in loans like I did. Or you can ask Mommy and Daddy for a $50K check every school year. OK, that's an exaggeration, but seriously. Who can afford to pay for college these days with the way things are going? Not many. So this past week, students at UC Berkeley and UC Santa Cruz protested the tuition increase. As they should! So many students at UC's receive financial aid. Without it, they wouldn't be there. So what are they going to do now that financial aid might not be an option? A lot of them will either say fuck it and move out of state, or they will go to community college. Since the state of California decided to cut so much out of the education budget, no student is safe. A lot of community colleges have had to cut back on programs and teachers. So not fair! As community colleges will become more impacted due to this tuition increase at state schools, help is needed now!!!
So if anyone reads this, I ask you. Think about what $20 could do for a student. That's two cases of Natty Light (plus tax), of course, haha :). That's a few notebooks for the semester. That's partial health insurance for the year, ($32 for the year I hear). If you ask ten people for $20 that's a couple of text books (used) for one class. Think about it. Think of how $20 could have helped you when you were in school. (That's a lot of Jack in the Box Tacos!!!!)
Please check out the San Mateo County Community Colleges Foundation web site and see how you can help. The time is now to help our youth create a better future. HELP US!!!!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I'm a dog sitter. Well, that is my side job. I dog sit. Why? Because I need the money. OK, besides that, I LOVE dogs. I want one so badly! It's kind of like that feeling women get when they feel that clock ticking. Except I am SO not ready to have a child. I want a dog. So, I dog sit, and I get that feeling that I actually have one, and then I give them back to their owners and I'm me again. Lonely, only girl.
This dog, his name is Vincent. He is the cutest. He is the best cuddler ever. He does not know HOW to properly act like a Congressman while outside. Yes he walks like a drunk. He riles up other dogs. But overall, he charms the pants off of everyone he meets. Well, except for that cat lady over on Polk and California. She's mean. Mean old cat lady!! His owners know how well they have it with Vincent, but I still wish I could keep him!!! He's awesome!!
So then I call my parents. "Dad, when did you and mom start getting gray?" He laughs. Waits a beat. Turns to my mom and asks, "When did we start going gray?" She responds with, "I don't know, maybe our 50's?" WHAT???? WAIT. Then she says, "You know, I had some when we were living on King Street." WHAT???? She was like, in her late twenties/early thirties! NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER MOM!!! So I come home, try to relax.
Then I show my roommate Kendall the gray hair, and she says, "Wait, that one?"
WHAT ONE? ANOTHER ONE?????? TWO?!?!?!? TWO GRAY HAIRS!!! ALL IN ONE DAY!!! WHY????
Then these feelings of fear and anxiety rush through my body. The same anxiety I felt when I got my period when I was ELEVEN. ELEVEN!!! TOO YOUNG!!! UGH. Again, gray hairs. TOO YOUNG!! At least with my period, I wasn't alone. Dylan McKay's sister got her period that night too. January 12, 1994. I KNOW. CRAZY, right???
So now, here I sit, wondering if these are just two freak gray hairs, or if this is what I have to look forward to during the next year or so. Will half of my hair be gray by the end of 2010? Is this the build up to 2012??? THE END OF THE WORLD WHEN ALL OF MY HAIR TURNS GRAY?????
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
...Twilight pricks were in San Francisco...thank the universe I live on the other side of town.
...If I could ever dress like Serena Van Der Woodsen on Gossip Girl, I'd be pretty fucking happy.
...I wish Twilight would go away.
...Can we PLEASE stop talking about the following:
- Miss California and her stupid stupid face.
- Madonna and her stupid Jesus La Lus manboy toy
- Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, the Simpson Sisters, and Oh God When will Jennifer Aniston remarry and have children?
- Twilight. Did I mention how much I loathe that crap?
Thank you :)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I pay for my own health insurance right now, and it fucking sucks. I have a very high copay, and I am not allowed to get certain medication unless I pay for it out of pocket. So if there is no generic, I AM FUCKED. Yes, I complain about that, but I am so fortunate to be the small percentage of this country that CAN pay for their own health care. What I don't understand is why people are so upset about the government asking them to help their fellow citizens and step it up a little bit. So I have to pay higher taxes. At least then families in the SAME city I live in, or even a city 3 thousand miles away will be able to take their children to the doctor when they get the flu. At least then we won't have people dying unfairly because SOMEONE WANTS TO GO ON A TRIP TO DUBAI for their birthday and doesn't care about their fellow human beings.
I know that if this passes in the Senate, then it will be an uphill battle. It has been for a long time! But like they said, it was a struggle to pass Social Security, and look where we are now. Still fighting to save OUR money so that we have it when we retire. This bill is not perfect. Not at all. It is a step in the right direction, and I am so grateful to have people on this planet that actually care. Who cares if you are Democrat, Republican, Liberal or Conservative. We are HUMAN BEINGS and we all matter. Not one person is better than the other that he deserves health care and she doesn't.
So to all those people who oppose, I say fuck off. When Blue Shield dumps you because you get stage 4 cancer and you want help but can't get it, all you have is yourself to blame.
The nugget right as we arrived to meet Spider Man. Notice the look on his face as he fearfully points to Spider Man for the camera? Yeah, he just woke up...
After we met Spider Man. After he freaked out. After he tried crawling into my shirt to AVOID Spider Man. He's still so goddamn cute. Damn it!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
These were some of the flowers we got to remember our dear Jane. These could never compare to the beauty she was, but they make me smile whenever I look at this photo, just as she did whenever I saw her.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
2) The view of the Bay Bridge, Treasure Island and Alcatraz remind me how lucky I am to live in such a great area.
3) Driving through China Town to see grandfathers with no teeth walking their granddaughters home from school ;)
4) Seeing trolleys dragged by tow trucks...
5) Living right next to a liquor store and a wine bar/café.
***the list will continue...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
He also is not able to say his "R's"...Sahara becomes "SahaWara"...add that nasal voice and it's the cutest thing ever!!!!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I FINALLY got a new car...a 2007 Mazda 3. SOOO EXCITING!!! I'm finally becoming an adult! Kind of. Sort of. OK, I really do NOT want to become an adult, but I guess it KIND OF has to happen some time..
So I got it in August, and have been driving around with that damn sticker on the bottom corner of the front windshield for registration, and the dealer's paper plates on the front and back of the car. Today, I received my ATM card (totally diff't story, but wahoo!) and my license plates w/registration stickers. WAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I get to take the sticker off and take those damn dealer ads off!!
I was super excited today bc now it feels as the car is really mine. OK so I sent in my first monthly payment yesterday and I have 41 more to go, but WHO CARES, I AM DRIVING A CAR!!!! It's so nice to drive around NOT being the douche that is flashing the fact that they just recently purchased a vehicle. Also, I don't have to pay $60 or $80 or $100 to fill up my tank anymore! My car doesn't leak oil! It doesn't make weird noises on the freeway! My car is not the most luxurious, but it's better than my last, and I fucking love it.
Oh yeah, and I have a trunk. That no one can see inside of. HA! Awesome!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I was graciously woken up at 4:15 AM to the beautiful sounds of thunder rolling through the sky...I've been waiting for this soo long, and I just wish that rain was here to accompany it. Living in California, this doesn't last long and every moment is so damn special. I'm lying in the dark, anxiously awaiting each burst of light to hear the beautiful sounds of the sky...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
So a great birthDAY it was...
The best part...my sister and her husband are potty-training my THREE YEAR OLD nephew, and OH how he is resisting. He's come a long way, and HE WILL be potty-trained soon!!! (we all hope)...but again to the best part...
When asked how is diaper or underwear is, he won't even let you finish - just interrupts you as if you've bothered him during a game of World of Warcraft and says "IT'S POOPECT!!!" What Tyler? How's - "IT'S POOPECT!!!!!!!!" (perfect, for those who need translating)
Do you need to - "NO, IT'S POOPECT!!!"
And there you have it. Potty-training a three year old, and it's POOPECT.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
HELL EXPLAINED BY
A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
'Oh my God .'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Tonight I was so tired, I did not want to go out and get food. So I toured the pantry and the fridge...This house usually holds THREE TEENAGERS, and two quite "healthy"...um...fitness enthusiasts? All I could find was protein powder in the pantry and whip cream in the fridge. WHAT THE FUCK? How do these people survive? I don't understand...Don't they eat...FOOD? As I laid on the bed trying desperately to psych myself up to go out and sustenance, I was instant messaging my friend Mike, begging him to tell what to go out and get...As he typed...I casually looked at Vincent and thought..."you know, I've been a vegetarian for FIVE YEARS...maybe I should just break down and eat the dog?" Funny enough, Mike had the same thoughts...
Poor Vincent. If he only knew...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tyler: No I don't want knock on youw doow.
Me: I've been waiting for you!
Tyler: Don't wait for me. Bop!
(Bop = stop)
As I keep singing the theme song to Three's Company, my nephew just becomes even more irritated in the car...However...we get home and after playing with his toys for a bit we hear from his room..."Come and knock on my doow!!!" and he comes out to do a little performance for us. HA HA HA!
No more singing Veggie Tales songs!!! Muahaha
Monday, July 20, 2009
She was 58. FIFTY-EIGHT!! Her husband died several years ago at the age of 61...At 26 I know it sounds weird to say this, but they were SO YOUNG. My mom is 65 and we recently celebrated my dad's 69th birthday. I cannot imagine what the Burns family is feeling right now. Both children to lose their parents at such a young age. I know that there are children that lose their parents at younger ages, but (and I know this is selfish) to have your parents for certain amount of time, and then whoosh! they are taken from you...Sometimes you feel like it wasn't enough time, even though you had them for twenty or thirty-something years...I know I can't stand living with mine right now, but I can't imagine a life without them. The Burns children are not too much older than I am...I just can't believe how devastating this must be.
The family has been such a great influence in my community, and to many of my friends. Although I did not know Sue and Harmon Burns personally, everything they did for my community, be it on the Peninsula or for the Giants (or both), I am very grateful for them and what they shared while they were on this earth.
Thank you Sue and Harmon Burns for being a part of bringing so much happiness into my life, and to the lives of the million others that you touched.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Today wasn't any better than yesterday, but I hope that I am going in the right direction...I know that things are not going to change in a day. I know that I have a hard road ahead of me, and I CANNOT do this by myself. 50 minutes does not equal a cure, but I am hopeful! So week by week, let's see if I can change my life...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
No longer keeping his mouth shut about the pain I put him through
Why is it that people ask you to embark on a specific task, and say "You choose, or do whatever you want!" What they REALLY mean is "take that shit out of the boxes so I can just reorganize them myself because you have NO SKILL WHATSOEVER!"
Why not just DO IT YOURSELF AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Then why do I feel so alone and hopeless and like I'm stuck in a rut, a rut that is quicksand and I will NEVER be able to get out? Little things bring a smile to my face every day, however they are not enough to get me out of this awful place, this hopelessness.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
my brain is leaking
on the floor
her words keep spewing, falling, drooling
I just can't take it anymore
the wind keeps mocking, taunting me
it's free outside as I sit and stare
the flag is flowing as I sit anxiously
playing with my hair
I want to jump I want to scream
anticipate my hand around some coke and jimmy beam
the clock is silently ticking
The light so blinding
Too dark to see forward
Too hard to move on
The room just keeps spinning
Tears streaming down her face
She doesn't know where to go
She doesn't know what to say
She wants to run away
She wants it all to go away
Please just go away.
Please. Just. Go. Away.
I'm sorry, I just don't have it
I'm pretty sure I know what you want
I'm sorry, I just don't have it
I think I know who you're looking for
I'm sorry, I don't think she exists
I know exactly who you want
I'm just not her.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I have such mixed feelings about his death – I am not saddened by his death – it was inevitable…I feel like because of his dramatic transformation and awkward behaviors, he died a long time ago. What we have seen for the past 15 years didn’t really seem like a person to me. He was just this thing, this creature who once was MJ…had the essence of MJ. Although I am not saddened, I am affected. Such an amazing influence to the inhabitants of our PLANET that he is all we can talk about; the reason I am sharing my thoughts. Amidst all of the craziness going on in our world today, Michael Jackson’s death is the one thing that can bring us all together, if not for one moment, to forget about all of our differences, and cherish the memories that he helped create for us.
We all have memories of his music – GREAT memories…Mine started at age 3, playing Beat It over and over again on our cassette player…or playing the Thriller cassette EVERY DAY on the way to elementary school in the first grade…OR playing Billy Jean during drunken dance parties freshman year of college.
Just like all the greats that have passed before him, we will teach our children about him, his music, his legacy, and treasure every moment we hear his songs.
RIP MJ, and thank you for all that you have given to my world.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
If I had gone to college back then...I mean, had been ALIVE back then..
Come on, how cute is that face?
I would say yes...
Spark one for me while you're at it....
Thanks to Lisa Jack and the LA Times for posting these photos :)