Sunday, January 31, 2010

Mad Men

Wishing our office days were still like that...and seriously, I want Joan Holloway's wardrobe. Seriously.

I Was Wondering Where All Of My Tennis Balls Went

Hugh Hayden Design - Hex (via

True Love

Photo by @ZooBorns via @SFZoo on Twitter.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Drunk Little Man

Moving back up to the Bay Area was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have since been able to watch my nephew grow up into a little man, a crazy, little man. Every moment that I share with him is heaven, as I believe I have mentioned before. But really, he is the light of my life and I am so ecstatic that he has come into my life. I may not be able to understand every other word he says, and his temper may not exactly be "acceptable" but he is the cutest thing on this earth since sliced cheese.

I picked him up tonight from my parent's house and my mother gave him M&M's for the car ride to my sister's house. M&M'S!!! MOM, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!?!? I swear, she is. He MAY or MAY NOT have had a nap mother did not divulge any misstep while under her care. So, let me tell you. He devoured the rest of the candy like Barney the fucking purple dinosaur was out to eat him, and immediately started to crash into a sugar coma. NO!!! I could not let that happen!

Of course, me being the "aunt", the "childless woman", I decided that he was not allowed to sleep on the car ride to his parents' home. I blasted that Veggie Tales CD so loud, and screamed at the top of my lungs "TYLER!!!! DO NOT GO TO SLEEP!!! SIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!"

"You're big! I'm little. My head only comes to your middle, But I say little guys can do big things too!"

He totally was half asleep and would sing with his eyes closed. I know it's mean that I kept him from sleeping, but he always becomes super cranky when he sleeps in my car, and well, that's just LAME. So every time I saw his eyes close and his head droop, I'd scream "NO! WAKE UP AND SING!!!" He'd open his eyes and flash me that drunken smile...and start to sing again. I swear, I had tears streaming down my face - it was so goddamn cute!

So say of me what you will, but he was fine when I parked the car and we raced up to his apartment. All in all, I would say that I'm a pretty rad aunt with the COOLEST nephew ever. I love my nugget.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


There are always people in your life that touch you, and you never forget the impression they leave on you. I totally believe that about animals as well. No, I am not a crazy animal person...OK kinda, but I don't own any animals...In fact, when I moved to the City, I left a fish at my parents house, hoping it would die. It was almost two years old!!! A goldfish!!! That's soo bad, right? Seriously! It finally died. Earlier this month. My mom's going to get a new one. Good luck with that Mom!

So anyway, I don't have animals of my own, I just love and adore them. When I lived in West Hollywood, with one of the BEST ROOMMATES EVER, two cats also inhabited the apartment. Maggie and Goober. The cutest cats ever! I was unemployed for a month in 2007, and those two kept me company every day that I sat on that damn couch doing nothing but stare at job posts. Goober is like a dog, and Maggie is such a little baby. They are the greatest to play with, the greatest to cuddle with, and just great PERIOD!

Maggie's kinda ditzy, you may think she's slightly "off"...runs into things, freaks out when someone sneezes, doesn't really meow - she squeaks.

Right now, Maggie is suffering from FIP. (Feline Infectious Peritonitis) Hard to explain, all I know is that it is terminal, and just soo not fun. I visited my old apartment and got to spend some time with her - it was soo sad! I totally cried. She is such a great pal, and my old roommate's first 'baby'. It's sad sad to know that she will be leaving us sooner than we thought, and I am so happy to have had her in my life. I was so glad to be able to say good-bye to her, and I hope that one day I can get a cat that is just as great as she is!

When The Rain Falls Down

The past two weeks have been amazing. Rain has been pouring. The grass is greener and I've been smiling more and more! I don't really understand how people don't like the rain. It's so wonderful! The air smells so fresh...It's just such a great thing! Almost every night I've been falling asleep to the pouring rain and it's amazing. I just can't stop gushing!! SO I ask you Gaia, please keep the rain coming!!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Maybe Tomorrow, Maybe Bidet

If You Give A Dog A Knob


I finally succumbed to watching Dexter. .I have begun at the beginning, and I cannot wait to catch up with everyone else! I "borrowed" my friend's first season DVD's, and I had them for a few days too long...So returned the set, and checked on his dog (I had forgotten the day before) and this is how I left them...

Chinese Is As Chinese Does

As I lay in bed watching Dexter, the doorbell rings. Who is there? Three Chinese women at my door, looking for a doctor. I am in NO WAY Chinese. I do not look Chinese, I do not speak Chinese. I am NOT Chinese. Do they care? NO. They yap away and I look at them in confusion. I say "I'm sorry, you have the wrong address." Them: "Blah, blah, blah Chinese" Me: "WRONG ADDRESS" They shove a piece of paper in my face that shows some kind of doctor's stationary and my address written on it, mistakenly, of course. They yap away again, I close the door, and they leave. I continue watching my show. About ten minutes later, they come back, ringing the doorbell more annoyingly...I freak out, staying in my bed, listening to them yap away. They are so loud!!! I'm afraid they'll push there way in if I open the door again, so I just don't move. They are there for like half an hour! They continued to ring the doorbell and yap away and I just hope that they leave because I want to get a Rock Star from the liquor store next door. I FB my situation asking if anyone knows Chinese and can tell me how to tell them to GO AWAY. FINALLY, they leave. But I am still nervous to the liquor store. I finally get a response, but too little too late. I finally got the guts to go next door, and when I open the door...NO ANGRY CHINESE WOMEN! Wahoo!! I think I need to start taking Chinese...Anyone know the main dialect in the Nob Hill area? Or is it a few? HELP ME!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How To Keep Me Up At Night

When living in the flat above me, move furniture at 12:30 AM and make it sound like you're throwing it down the stairs.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In Case You Think Funerals Are Expensive

You can buy coffins at the scrap yard!

Smarty Stanford Pants

So...I grew up on the Peninsula in the Bay Area...right next to Stanford University. My father even worked there before he got MS, so I spent a lot of time on campus. Yesterday, I was looking for their recycling center...I thought I knew where it was, but my stupid iPhone app sent me on wild goose chase. So after driving in circles I decided to look where I THOUGHT IT WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. (so yes, that's me being dumb) I was driving in circles, I stopped many people asking where I could find it.

DID YOU KNOW... Stanford students and professors are so lame they don't even know that their school, Stanford University, has a recycling center? I live in such a hippie area, an area where green, eco-friendly is the coolest thing since Elvis, and what do I get? Smart people being completely stupid. I mean, come on! With saving the earth and being nice to the environment on most people's minds, wouldn't you think that Stanford would put a paper in their welcome package about their recycling center? Posters? A blurb in their e-newsletter? Their printed newspaper? SOMETHING!!!! No. Of course not. They believe that their students and professors are smart enough to just KNOW these things. LAME.

Finding Peace Where You Least Expect It

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Shake It!

What will they come up with next?!?! :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

If You're Sexually Active

And you live with three other people in a place that is NOT a mansion...PUT A FUCKING SOCK IN YOUR MOUTH when you bring a guy home and fuck him senseless. No one wants to wake up to hear you panting and moaning, then proceed to cough once your done. What the fuck is with the coughing? I don't even want to know. Gross.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Biggest Loser

Is so not me. I need to lose about 20 lbs, and really don't know how to gain control of myself and just do it. Let's see if I can do that this year....I hope...